The ULTIMATE Complainer

I have to describe a table I had the "pleasure" of serving. Now I say that sarcastically but in actuality I did have a few good laughs out of this one!!

So a mother and daughter sit down. I take their drink order, from this moment I know not only what an enormous headache this experience will be but also that these people are NUTS. Ok.

The mom orders an Earl Grey tea in a "fancy tall glass" because she doesn't want her tea to get cold but also doesn't want to "drink out of a barrel". By this I assumes she means a tea pot and well frankly, who the hell just pours it in their mouth. At this point I'm wondering what planet they just arrived from. Anyway, she then tells me (not asks) to "pre-warm" the glass for her. By this she means I have to put hot water in this glass and let it sit for one minute while it warms the glass. I want to punch this lady in the face before I even hear what her daughter wants to drink, not a good sign. The daughter orders coffee and of course, also has to have that same "fancy tall glass".

Ok. So after timing the heating of this glass just perfectly, I take out the coffee and tea. They are ready to order their food. The mom orders a Chicken Fingers Lunch Entree that comes with Fries and Caesar Salad, and she wants Honey Dill to dip. The daughter decides she only wants the appetizer, which is 3 chicken fingers without the sides, she wants Sweet and Sour. So their food is ordered and low and behold the coffee is too weak!!! My manager takes a stab at this one and it seems to be okay.

Then their food comes. Before I even have a chance to set their plates down the daughter is already saying that the chicken fingers are overdone and the mother is going on about how she should have asked for them to be "golden" because now they are dry and have "no juice" and will just be so gross. Then the daughter starts complaining about the size of the chicken fingers, saying that she usually gets 4 when they are "so small". Luckily my manager was close by so I hurried away and let her deal with it. She comes back with the daughter's plate and an epiphany.

Little did I know that these people are regulars, not only that they order the SAME THING every time they're there!!! So now Marianne has caught onto the fact that this girl gets new ones made while eating the originals, thus getting 6 chicken fingers for the price of 3. Well, not this time! So I go out to say that the new ones will be a few minutes and of course, without fail, the mother has something to complain about. Now her fries are cold. I bring her out a side plate of VERY hot fries. She takes them. By the time the daughter's new chicken fingers are done the mother is done eating. I take her plate and she says: I would have liked better fries.

I only smile and walk away. I do not apologize because frankly I don't give a damn. These are the most annoying people and the degree to which they are complaining is simply preposterous! So, I don't hear any more complaints about the new chicken fingers but I knew they couldn't be done yet. And yes, just as I'd suspected. The daughter, after using the restroom walked up to a different server to complain that there was no hand dryer for her to "dry between her fingers".

I have never ONCE heard someone complain about their NOT being a hand dryer, who complains about that! Who WANTS one! They are completely inconvenient, standing around drying your hands and a lot less sanitary!! I felt like I was serving a table of aliens, who had no idea what proper etiquette or manners were. They just plopped off the spaceship, craving chicken fingers and someone to fu*k with!! Well, they could see they were really not upsetting me because I didn't care at all. I thought it was hilarious by the end but so happy to see them go!

I can honestly say I will be the happiest server in the world if I have the pleasure of never setting eyes on the two of them again!!!

The Service Industry

So.. everyday in the service industry is almost the same but always something a little bit different, and mostly stupid happens from one day to the next. You will ALWAYS find rude, impatient people who believe your sole purpose is to stand in front of them and care about whatever stupid thing they are complaining about. As there are many different types of servers, you will find many different types of customers. Generally each of these fall into three categories each.

Servers:

1. The Do-gooder: the server who has a genuine smile on their face and cares to make sure they do anything they can to make your experience really great!

2. The "This is just my jobber": The server who will put a half smile on their face in order to ensure that you at least tip them something when you pay your bill.

3. The "I Don't Give a Shi*ter": The person who comes to your table to get your order to ensure you don't get her fired but beyond that you know she just doesn't care if someone dropped your food on the floor before the plates were brought to your table.

Since good always comes with bad, the same categories can be given to customers but with a tiny different spin to them.

Customers:

1. The Nice One: This customer is the one who will greet you with a larger smile than you have when you arrive ten minutes late to take a drink order and still tip you really well because they can see it's really busy or that you are trying really hard.

2. The Awkward One: This customer either makes odd jokes that are difficult to understand or has strange mannerisms like not making eye contact with you their entire visit. Every time you leave their table you are either shaking your head at something strange or are dumbfounded that the person just said "that".

3. The Complainer: The customer that just has to complain. The one you just want to punch to give them something to complain about (and make yourself feel better in the process). These customers have the ability to ruin a server's whole night. While there may be legitimate reasons to complain, these people generally are just rude and what they are complaining about is so minuscule you wonder how they've survived in a world full of hardships up until that point.

Now, both of these categories have definite variations and degrees. Categories may be mixed or some servers/customers may only be in one category for a short period of time but these generally cover the types of people that serve the food and the ones who come to eat it.

It's amazing to me though, how people can be so rude. I wonder to myself at times how they have gotten along in the world. Have they only had the opportunity to be so rude to someone in an industry where a well-known motto is "The customer is always right"? It's upsetting to think that as "civilized" beings we cannot take a step out of our bubble to either pay closer attention to the details (in some serving cases) and to give a guy a break (in some customer occasions).

I would like to say this once and for all: Just because you don't get tiped at your job doesn't mean it's okay to leave me nothing on a $70 bill. It's no longer okay with me that you have never worked or know anyone in the service industry because I should not have to pay $1.75 out of my own pocket for you to come here and be so much of a penny pincher you took every single cent of change I gave to you. We are living in the 21st century, it should be common knowledge that it is NOT RIGHT to walk out of a restaurant without tipping your server. Even if you think they did a terrible job, no one deserves to come to work only to pay money from their own pocket. Believe me, karma will come about in different ways it is not your job to place it.

Anyway, I think that's a good start. I'll start thinking about all the stupid things that have happened lately. Here's a good one to leave you with: While handing a lady a steak sandwich she asks for me to bring her garlic toast. I stifle a laugh when I look down to see her garlic toast under her steak, just the way a steak sandwich always comes. Then her husband points to the toast while she goes "Oh UGHHHHHH!!!" (As though it's somehow someone else's fault she's that dumb).

Good night!

Bound Together Forever

Well... this is no longer a pregnancy blog as I have not been prego for a little over two weeks now! HURRAY!! Or so I thought...

I don't know why I thought things would change once I had this baby, as though I would get some new found sense of freedom. It's actually quite the opposite, while I thought pregnancy had this great hold over my life, it's not the case. Now, I have a baby. So now it's just me and her for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces but the strain on my sanity is getting to be too much to handle. I don't think the best way to begin motherhood is to feel like you're being strangled... yikes.

On another note, pumping is the best. While I do feel like a dairy cow, it was the best relief I could ask for in the first week after delivery. When you're so swollen and aching and you can't sleep... pumping is the answer for sure! I would recommend it to anyone! Even if you don't want to pump after that, it's worth doing in the first week. Plus, you can store up all that milk for a good 3 months and have it on hand for whenever.. if you ever do get to leave the house alone again. *Sigh*

So far, motherhood has held a lot of joy for me but tonight I'm feeling the blues. I guess I just thought somehow this would be different, but I suppose I should be thankful that I have a perfectly healthy baby who does let me sleep from time to time. Count your blessings, for they may be few and far between.

IBS... Irritable Bi*chy Syndrome.

So.. I don't know if it's the fact that I am 6 days overdue, completely exhausted due to the inability to get any sleep, my feet are swollen to double their size OR because I have excruciating pains due to a bladder infection but... ladies and gentlemen.. I have caught it: IBS. Irritiable Bi*chy Sydrome.

Ok, ok. I know that's not what IBS stands for, but I'm throwing it out there! Some common symptoms are:

1) Lack of energy to care to put a smile on your face
2) Loss of hope and plummeting into the despair of never-endingness
3) Cranky, moody and EXTREMELY sensitive.
4) Ready to burst into tears over the slightest reminder as to how long you've had to wait so far.
5) Snapping at everyone around you, even when what they say is absolutely true.

I know I'm not naturally what one might call a "chipper" person at the best of times, but at this point I have lost all energy to care and have an optimistic view. I feel as though I have been prego for years and that the days couldn't go by fast enough. As each day passes, one would think I would get more hopeful.. but instead it's more depressive. If one more person asks me when I'm due, I just might snap.

I did have a lil fun of my own, asking the clerk when SHE was due after she'd asked me... knowing pretty well that she wasn't prego. Maybe that'll teach her to mind her own business. Now, if only I could get everyone in the WORLD to do the same... or to stop staring. I really wish disposable cameras were $1. I'd walk around with a bag full of them and pass them out to onlookers and say the old but still very appealing statement: "Take a picture, it'll last longer". Like really, WHAT are you looking at?!

*Sigh*. It's sad that the light at the end of the tunnel is this possible induction, something I don't even want in the first place! But now that I am almost a week overdue and as uncomfortable as possible in this state, a lengthy induction seems to be the only answer to my prayers. While I know it takes a while, it's hard not to look forward to it; especially considering how long I've been waiting anyway!

You know, the other thing I have been thinking about is this: If at this point she feels the need to take her time coming out, isn't this reflective of the way she'll be forever? Taking her time to do... anything? I would bet my life on it! What is one to do at this point? Do I dare toward the dreaded castor oil, or do I just wait it out? I don't think these stretch marks are getting any smaller and neither is her head!!

I have to quote my favourite show at this point: "I'm just saying, that baby's head isn't getting any smaller. Yoooowzer!!" HAHA. At the end of the day, the cure for MY IBS is Friends. "The One Where Rachel Is Late" is my most favourite episode and it has been since the day I found out I was prego. Even then I knew I would be like Rachel in that episode, I do wish I had a Ross to irritate me even more! "Ross, can I ask you a question? When Carol was pregnant, were you this irritating?"... "I'm not trying to irritate you"... "Oh well then you just must have a natural talent for it!".. Classic!!!

So.. prego ladies.. if you're feeling blue.. find that episode and watch it! Maybe it will lift your spirits! Even though it's fiction, it's still hilarious!! Perhaps we also won't look so bad to our loved ones if they watch it too ;). "We should really ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil!!" Ohhh.. love it!

Ok, that's all for this one!! Hopefully my next blog will be a rager about the joys of LABOUR... not the herendousness of still being prego!! Keep your fingers crossed!! :P

Almost Time... Perhaps?

Well well well, another rager here!

I have a few concerns with this one, particularily because I'm not in the greatest mood after finding out I could be spending my 23rd birthday being induced... for those of you who may not know exactly what this entails.. just imagine having to go back and forth from the hospital every few hours until something actually comes of it. Not to mention having to perhaps spend the day waiting for them to call you to actually come down. Does this sound like something anyone would want to do on their birthday? The other thing is, and maybe I seem selfish to you but I don't really care... I don't want to share my birthday. I am more than willing to share a lot of things with this baby, hell I've shared a body for the past 10 months nearly, is it too much to ask that I can have a day that's just about ME? *Sigh* perhaps it is.

The other thing that peeves me, is when you go to the doctor and he asks you the same questions... this one is my favourite: Any bleeding? I would sooo like to say "Actually yes, it started 3 days ago but I thought that since I had this appointment coming up I'd just wait to tell you about it". Like really, if I were bleeding I'd have gone to the hospital by now, get real! There are so many things I'd like to say that I refrain from...

For instance, when this man decides to chat me up in the line at 7-11 about my due date and how I'll just love it when she's out and blah blah blah. I don't know how much more unapproachable I can make myself, I had the worst scowl on my face but my belly just outweighs this because people constantly think it's some sort of conversation piece. Like really, just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I give a DAMN about what you have to say. Trust me, being pregnant doesn't make you this sunshiney-hippy of a person who's all about peace and love. Ok, granted maybe it does for some people but not this girl. So if you see the scowl it means, F*** off!! Maybe I should put a sign on my belly that says: "No, I don't care what you are thinking or wanting to comment about the belly this is attached to" or maybe make a shirt. It really is a thought that's crossed my mind more than once today.

The last rant I have is about this. There should be a sign that says "Pregnancy does not equal handicapped". Like, when you walk up to a store clerk and they ask if you need a chair. I think I'm ok, I can get a chair if I need one. I don't know how they think that is flattering, "oh you look helpless, please I'll be nice and act like I care". Give me a break. I'm no less of a self-sufficient person than I was without a huge basketball sticking out of my front, so again the words "F*** off" come to mind. Don't get me wrong, if I've fallen on the floor and am in dire need of a hand, feel free. But don't make random comments like getting me a chair or a water bottle and expect me to be happy about it. I think this is moreso a feminist issue than anything else, I'm a woman and I can do for myself. Thank you.

Ok.. well in a few days when I've calmed down and read this I will realize just how ridiculous it sounds. But for now, that's my rant and I feel it's been a good one!

For all you prego's out there, good luck! I hope you all don't have to spend so much time being pregnant! I enjoyed most of it but now it's time for her to just hit the road, not that I won't be there to snatch her up when she comes out, THAT i'm excited for!!

Being a grown-up...

So recently I realized just what it means to be a "grown-up".. sure I'm in my early 20's and thought of course, I knew everything.. who doesn't?! But it seems to me that I am quite inexperienced as far as "life" goes which scares the heck out of me!

I have never been one to use the internet to buy anything, ever. But now, I realize that maybe I should have! Because now, I have to be a grown-up and do grown-up things... like buying a breast pump for instance. Well, the best way it seems is to go online but I haven't a freaking CLUE what to do, who to trust and that is not good when you're dropping a few hundred dollars on something via the internet. If I have no experience with this, what else is going to fall into my lap that I'll have to deal with? Ahhh I'm such an organizer and preparer.. (I'm not even sure that's a word) that the next part of this pregnancy, the whole not being pregnant and actually caring for the baby part, scares me to death!! I'm anxious but at the same time, with her in there I don't have much responsibility (besides you know, not dying and things like that).

So right now, I'm on the verge of really being an adult and having someone else's life literally in the palm of my hands. They say all this stuff is normal and right now it's hard to imagine feeling absolutely ready and secure. I'm hoping that I'll see her and all that fear will go away haha but I have a sneaking suspicion it may just get worse. So.. for now, I'm the scared prego mama with a baby really "on the way"... and I'll keep you posted as to how that all pans out!

Sleep.... Will It Ever Come Again?

Well well well, I'm now at the point in my pregnancy where sleep just isn't happening!! I am naturally a toss/turner and it seems that it is now impossible to be this way! She has decided on a particular spot and if I turn over, she refuses. This means, instead of "rolling with it" she likes to stay exactly where she is, and squish all my organs if I turn the other way. It's really the best time!! I'm pretty much ready for her to come out, although I think I just might be the 2 weeks overdue because she's clearly stubborn and not wanting to go anywhere!



I can't WAIT to sleep again! If one more person tells me I won't be getting any sleep when she does come out, I BEG to differ! Even if I'm not getting the same amount of hours that I possibly could get now, it'll at least be sleep by myself where I can lay however I wish!!



The wonderful scary stories of labour are beginning to freak me out to no end! I'm glad I didn't go to birthing classes, I'd be scared out of my mind right now if I would have had to watch some sort of video on it. The way I see it is, people have been having babies for years just fine without knowing what they're up against why should I be any different? Doesn't it really defeat the purpose of trying to stay calm if you know what you're REALLY in for?! I think I'll just take my chances and wing it, for the first time in my life... I don't want to be as prepared for this as I can be. Prepared in this case means thinking too much which leads to worrying and ultimately, a nervous breakdown. Although, come to think of it... the stress could possibly force her out. Hmmm. Haha jk. She can stay as long as she likes, well up until the end of September, then she's coming out! I don't want to share a birthday, the line has to be drawn somewhere!



So in short, sleep is not happening and therefore random stupid blogs have come about in its place!