So a mother and daughter sit down. I take their drink order, from this moment I know not only what an enormous headache this experience will be but also that these people are NUTS. Ok.
The mom orders an Earl Grey tea in a "fancy tall glass" because she doesn't want her tea to get cold but also doesn't want to "drink out of a barrel". By this I assumes she means a tea pot and well frankly, who the hell just pours it in their mouth. At this point I'm wondering what planet they just arrived from. Anyway, she then tells me (not asks) to "pre-warm" the glass for her. By this she means I have to put hot water in this glass and let it sit for one minute while it warms the glass. I want to punch this lady in the face before I even hear what her daughter wants to drink, not a good sign. The daughter orders coffee and of course, also has to have that same "fancy tall glass".
Ok. So after timing the heating of this glass just perfectly, I take out the coffee and tea. They are ready to order their food. The mom orders a Chicken Fingers Lunch Entree that comes with Fries and Caesar Salad, and she wants Honey Dill to dip. The daughter decides she only wants the appetizer, which is 3 chicken fingers without the sides, she wants Sweet and Sour. So their food is ordered and low and behold the coffee is too weak!!! My manager takes a stab at this one and it seems to be okay.
Then their food comes. Before I even have a chance to set their plates down the daughter is already saying that the chicken fingers are overdone and the mother is going on about how she should have asked for them to be "golden" because now they are dry and have "no juice" and will just be so gross. Then the daughter starts complaining about the size of the chicken fingers, saying that she usually gets 4 when they are "so small". Luckily my manager was close by so I hurried away and let her deal with it. She comes back with the daughter's plate and an epiphany.
Little did I know that these people are regulars, not only that they order the SAME THING every time they're there!!! So now Marianne has caught onto the fact that this girl gets new ones made while eating the originals, thus getting 6 chicken fingers for the price of 3. Well, not this time! So I go out to say that the new ones will be a few minutes and of course, without fail, the mother has something to complain about. Now her fries are cold. I bring her out a side plate of VERY hot fries. She takes them. By the time the daughter's new chicken fingers are done the mother is done eating. I take her plate and she says: I would have liked better fries.
I only smile and walk away. I do not apologize because frankly I don't give a damn. These are the most annoying people and the degree to which they are complaining is simply preposterous! So, I don't hear any more complaints about the new chicken fingers but I knew they couldn't be done yet. And yes, just as I'd suspected. The daughter, after using the restroom walked up to a different server to complain that there was no hand dryer for her to "dry between her fingers".
I have never ONCE heard someone complain about their NOT being a hand dryer, who complains about that! Who WANTS one! They are completely inconvenient, standing around drying your hands and a lot less sanitary!! I felt like I was serving a table of aliens, who had no idea what proper etiquette or manners were. They just plopped off the spaceship, craving chicken fingers and someone to fu*k with!! Well, they could see they were really not upsetting me because I didn't care at all. I thought it was hilarious by the end but so happy to see them go!
I can honestly say I will be the happiest server in the world if I have the pleasure of never setting eyes on the two of them again!!!
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