Well, I realize that I am starting this a BIT late.. as I have less than 9 weeks of pregnancy to go (keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be longer than that). I have learned a lot of things in the past 8 months and I think maybe I should share a few of them. Take this blog with as many grains of salt as you like. I will admit that I'm deeply sarcastic, blunt and well.. dramatic. Exhaustion really doesn't help to lighten the mood at all. Don't get me wrong, I have learned many other good things during this time too but who really wants to read about the wishy washy mushy crap from an emotional prego?? Not I!
So let's get started!!
1. When people tell you that you're glowing, it makes you think that you've got an insurmountable amount of sweat all over you, which really doesn't help to look forward to the next 2 months, especially with one of them being very well known for dry heat. This is Saskatchewan after all, the mild weather has to end sometime.
2. It's not flattering for people to constantly touch your belly, if I don't know you.. don't touch me. It even creeps me out when it's from people I know.. just imagine your co-workers and/or acquaintances coming up to you and rubbing your stomach. Why is that when my belly is huge, people think they need to rub it? I am NOT Buddha, there is no good luck to be had. Yes, there is a baby in there but you're not touching the baby, you're touching ME. That's my stomach and I think I ought to start going up to random people and just rubbing their stomachs to see how they enjoy it!!
3. Sleep is not the same when you're pregnant and it's definitely hard to hold myself back when someone insinuates that you sleep too often or that you really don't need to rest THAT much. Are you KIDDING me? I'd like to see people try and get a good rest when they are, not only, unable to sleep as they normally would (on their stomach as is my case) but also have to switch sides every 20 minutes! Do they not realize how HARD it is to roll over??? Imagine a 15 lb weight on your stomach and moving it from side to side, not at all easy! So not only are you sleeping in an awkward, unfamiliar and uncomfortable position but you also have something inside you that seems to be able to tell your bladder you have to urinate JUST as you're about to fall asleep, once you've fallen asleep OR even wakes you up from a deep dreaming sleep... that's my favourite!
4. Why do people ask how the baby is doing? Do I look like the baby? I really hope they realize that just because it's inside of me, doesn't mean I can read its mind.. maybe she's peeved that I didn't eat early enough or that I rammed my stomach into a table or chair at work, HOW should I know? It's the most awkward question to answer.. I literally respond at least 10 times a day with "I don't know?".
5. Another question I could stand NEVER hearing again is "how are you feeling?" Well.. let me tell you, NO ONE who asks that really cares. It's a way of making conversation and also a temporary lapse in judgement because if I REALLY stopped and told them all the things I'm feeling, they probably wouldn't be asking that very often. I think the rule should be: if you'd heard I was sick or I LOOK sick.. then feel free to ask. If not, leave me alone. If I'm standing in front of you, functioning pretty well.. I'm most likely just fine. Asking me, however, might send me over the edge into the state as to which I want to hurt you :)!
I'll end this with a 6th and final point, my blog is called "Sizzlin KA", because it was the ONLY nickname that I was ever given that I enjoyed even slightly. I do need to say that pregnancy does NOT make you feel attractive, moreso like a beached whale. Pictures right now are not my favourite thing, why do I want to capture and remember the moment where I feel like I could step on sumo wrestler's back and break it? So maybe the whole "Sizzlin" part doesn't refer to me at this time, but hopefully it will in the future.. being called "Fatty" really doesn't make it any better, just to note!
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