The ULTIMATE Complainer

I have to describe a table I had the "pleasure" of serving. Now I say that sarcastically but in actuality I did have a few good laughs out of this one!!

So a mother and daughter sit down. I take their drink order, from this moment I know not only what an enormous headache this experience will be but also that these people are NUTS. Ok.

The mom orders an Earl Grey tea in a "fancy tall glass" because she doesn't want her tea to get cold but also doesn't want to "drink out of a barrel". By this I assumes she means a tea pot and well frankly, who the hell just pours it in their mouth. At this point I'm wondering what planet they just arrived from. Anyway, she then tells me (not asks) to "pre-warm" the glass for her. By this she means I have to put hot water in this glass and let it sit for one minute while it warms the glass. I want to punch this lady in the face before I even hear what her daughter wants to drink, not a good sign. The daughter orders coffee and of course, also has to have that same "fancy tall glass".

Ok. So after timing the heating of this glass just perfectly, I take out the coffee and tea. They are ready to order their food. The mom orders a Chicken Fingers Lunch Entree that comes with Fries and Caesar Salad, and she wants Honey Dill to dip. The daughter decides she only wants the appetizer, which is 3 chicken fingers without the sides, she wants Sweet and Sour. So their food is ordered and low and behold the coffee is too weak!!! My manager takes a stab at this one and it seems to be okay.

Then their food comes. Before I even have a chance to set their plates down the daughter is already saying that the chicken fingers are overdone and the mother is going on about how she should have asked for them to be "golden" because now they are dry and have "no juice" and will just be so gross. Then the daughter starts complaining about the size of the chicken fingers, saying that she usually gets 4 when they are "so small". Luckily my manager was close by so I hurried away and let her deal with it. She comes back with the daughter's plate and an epiphany.

Little did I know that these people are regulars, not only that they order the SAME THING every time they're there!!! So now Marianne has caught onto the fact that this girl gets new ones made while eating the originals, thus getting 6 chicken fingers for the price of 3. Well, not this time! So I go out to say that the new ones will be a few minutes and of course, without fail, the mother has something to complain about. Now her fries are cold. I bring her out a side plate of VERY hot fries. She takes them. By the time the daughter's new chicken fingers are done the mother is done eating. I take her plate and she says: I would have liked better fries.

I only smile and walk away. I do not apologize because frankly I don't give a damn. These are the most annoying people and the degree to which they are complaining is simply preposterous! So, I don't hear any more complaints about the new chicken fingers but I knew they couldn't be done yet. And yes, just as I'd suspected. The daughter, after using the restroom walked up to a different server to complain that there was no hand dryer for her to "dry between her fingers".

I have never ONCE heard someone complain about their NOT being a hand dryer, who complains about that! Who WANTS one! They are completely inconvenient, standing around drying your hands and a lot less sanitary!! I felt like I was serving a table of aliens, who had no idea what proper etiquette or manners were. They just plopped off the spaceship, craving chicken fingers and someone to fu*k with!! Well, they could see they were really not upsetting me because I didn't care at all. I thought it was hilarious by the end but so happy to see them go!

I can honestly say I will be the happiest server in the world if I have the pleasure of never setting eyes on the two of them again!!!

The Service Industry

So.. everyday in the service industry is almost the same but always something a little bit different, and mostly stupid happens from one day to the next. You will ALWAYS find rude, impatient people who believe your sole purpose is to stand in front of them and care about whatever stupid thing they are complaining about. As there are many different types of servers, you will find many different types of customers. Generally each of these fall into three categories each.

Servers:

1. The Do-gooder: the server who has a genuine smile on their face and cares to make sure they do anything they can to make your experience really great!

2. The "This is just my jobber": The server who will put a half smile on their face in order to ensure that you at least tip them something when you pay your bill.

3. The "I Don't Give a Shi*ter": The person who comes to your table to get your order to ensure you don't get her fired but beyond that you know she just doesn't care if someone dropped your food on the floor before the plates were brought to your table.

Since good always comes with bad, the same categories can be given to customers but with a tiny different spin to them.

Customers:

1. The Nice One: This customer is the one who will greet you with a larger smile than you have when you arrive ten minutes late to take a drink order and still tip you really well because they can see it's really busy or that you are trying really hard.

2. The Awkward One: This customer either makes odd jokes that are difficult to understand or has strange mannerisms like not making eye contact with you their entire visit. Every time you leave their table you are either shaking your head at something strange or are dumbfounded that the person just said "that".

3. The Complainer: The customer that just has to complain. The one you just want to punch to give them something to complain about (and make yourself feel better in the process). These customers have the ability to ruin a server's whole night. While there may be legitimate reasons to complain, these people generally are just rude and what they are complaining about is so minuscule you wonder how they've survived in a world full of hardships up until that point.

Now, both of these categories have definite variations and degrees. Categories may be mixed or some servers/customers may only be in one category for a short period of time but these generally cover the types of people that serve the food and the ones who come to eat it.

It's amazing to me though, how people can be so rude. I wonder to myself at times how they have gotten along in the world. Have they only had the opportunity to be so rude to someone in an industry where a well-known motto is "The customer is always right"? It's upsetting to think that as "civilized" beings we cannot take a step out of our bubble to either pay closer attention to the details (in some serving cases) and to give a guy a break (in some customer occasions).

I would like to say this once and for all: Just because you don't get tiped at your job doesn't mean it's okay to leave me nothing on a $70 bill. It's no longer okay with me that you have never worked or know anyone in the service industry because I should not have to pay $1.75 out of my own pocket for you to come here and be so much of a penny pincher you took every single cent of change I gave to you. We are living in the 21st century, it should be common knowledge that it is NOT RIGHT to walk out of a restaurant without tipping your server. Even if you think they did a terrible job, no one deserves to come to work only to pay money from their own pocket. Believe me, karma will come about in different ways it is not your job to place it.

Anyway, I think that's a good start. I'll start thinking about all the stupid things that have happened lately. Here's a good one to leave you with: While handing a lady a steak sandwich she asks for me to bring her garlic toast. I stifle a laugh when I look down to see her garlic toast under her steak, just the way a steak sandwich always comes. Then her husband points to the toast while she goes "Oh UGHHHHHH!!!" (As though it's somehow someone else's fault she's that dumb).

Good night!